SUCCESSFUL GIVING AND KINDNESS

Recently I came across three interesting and complementary studies on the benefits of giving and kindness.

The first was by Elizabeth Dunn. She noted that there is a virtuous circle: giving improves your well-being, and improvements in your well-being increase your willingness to give in the future. (1)

Following up on this idea, Sonja Lyubomirsky found that doing five acts of kindness on a single day, rather than spread out over a week, significantly improves the effectiveness of your actions in terms of making them habit-forming. (2) The concerted, deliberate and concentrated focus on acts of kindness in a single day, once a week for six weeks, changed the individual positively and built the foundations for sustained wellness. It is as though there are economies of scale for kindness.

The third finding on giving was the most curious and counter-intuitive. Adam Grant’s research found that successful givers (givers that can sustain and increase their charitable giving over time) not only cared profoundly about others, but were mindful of how being charitable was in their own self-interest, as it enhanced their own well-being. They aligned what mattered to them with what would make a difference to those they were giving to. We might feel that it is somehow wrong to think about ourselves in the context of giving, but it seems not. Grant argues that being other-focused or self-focused aren’t at opposite ends of the same spectrum; they’re different, separate motivations. In fact, it seems that being high on motivation to help others and high on drive to achieve our personal goals is what enables successful givers to give extraordinarily over a sustained period of time.

Grant describes two different types of giver: ‘selfless-givers’ and ‘other-ish givers’. Selfless givers are high on other-interest and low on self-interest. In the longer term, they can pay a price for giving their time, money and energy without regard for their own needs. Other-ish givers are high on both concern for others and on their own self-interest, meaning they can successfully maintain giving over time. Clearly neither is selfish. (3) (4)

Taken together, empirical science strongly suggests that acts of kindness and giving are strongly linked to personal well-being, especially when combined with an attitude of gratitude. Furthermore, implementing a lifestyle of planned, deliberate and other-ish giving is an effective WIN-WIN approach to personal well-being.

Reflection Source: www.Smallercup.org

(1) : Aknin, L. B., Dunn, E. W. & Norton, M. I. (2011). Happiness Runs in a Circular Motion: Evidence for a positive feedback loop between pro-social spending and happiness. Journal of Happiness Studies, 13(2), 347–355

(2) : Lyubomirsky, S., King, L. & Diener, E. (2005). The Benefits of Frequent Positive Affect: Does Happiness Lead to Success? Psychological Bulletin, 131, 803–855

(3) : King, V. (2016). 10 Keys to Happier Living. Headline Publishing Group

(4) : Grant, A. (2013). Give and Take: A revolutionary approach to success. Hachette UK